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About Mykolaiv

Real talk, tho—massage with that sexy twist? Been around forever. Ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ olive oil on dudes, callin’ it “therapeía.” Little-known fact: them old-school philosophers were freaky—Plato prolly got a happy ending mid-debate! Fast forward, I’m pissed—why ain’t this in every spa? Capitalist pigs hoggin’ the good shit! Makes me happy tho, thinkin’ ‘bout some underground masseuse in a basement, whisperin’, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s the Pale Man with them eye-hands, but hornier.

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So, I’m walking down Haharina Street, and I see this street vendor selling the best varenyky. I mean, who can resist that? I got a plate, and it was like a hug for my stomach. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I’m fighting a pigeon for my lunch. What a sight!

Conflict in Sosnivka Hospital: Check on Police Actions